im_a_catch: (Denny Begin the Begin)
2006-09-04 06:17 pm
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[FM] 37 - Define your weakness

Hell, all people got themselves some weakness or another…asking a man to pick one’s like askin’ him to walk up to a haystack and pick his favorite piece of straw. But, I guess in the end we all got one chink in our armor bigger ‘n the rest, right?

I guess mine would have to be my predilection towards being liked. Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t the type to be starved for affection, or too concerned with another person’s opinion…it’s all about me liking other people. I wanna be a guy they can admire…appreciate…befriend. I want to be a person that other people will allow into their lives, and I want to leave a positive mark on them. It’s important to me that I have that ability…that permission to be a part of people, not win their favor. Hell, I meet a man thinks it’s a good idea to jump off a cliff and he trusts me ‘nough to get close to pull him to safety, he could hate me the rest of his born days for ruining his good time. But the dumb son of a bitch’d be alive, wouldn’t he?

It’s not acceptance I crave…it’s influence. A chance to leave my mark.

I guess…my biggest weakness is my desire to be remembered, and remembered well.

And believe me, you don’t have to be on your deathbed to want that.

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 232
im_a_catch: (Denny Duquette)
2006-08-21 12:00 pm
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[FM]: Topic 35 - Past Life Regression

Past lives, huh? Well, I’m not much of a believer in that stuff...good little Catholic boy here, born and bred. That there’s the sort of thing’d get a fella burned as a heretic and all that fun-filled Spanish Inquisition-type stuff.

But, if we’re just doing this for the hell of it...getting a little introspective and whimsical...I think in a past life I was a dolphin. Maybe a whale...dolphins are too smart, so I think I’d be giving myself a little too much credit in that department. Yeah...humpback whale sounds about right. Big, little cumbersome, not exactly real easy on the eyes, but we can both sound real pretty when we want to.

That’s just be getting whimsical, want the introspective part? Long as I can remember, I’ve always loved the sea...almost to the point of obsession. For a while there, my dad swore up and down I’d end up a sailor, and he was sort of right. I mean, I do sail and whatnot...and I do spend a lot of time in white, I just swap out the sailor suits for the occasional labcoat.

Now again, that’s just me havin’ a little fun, but to be honest? If past lives were real, I could’ve been any-damn-body in the universe. Way I understand it, the whole philosophy behind reincarnation is getting right all the mistakes you made until you finally earn your way into whatever constitutes as Heaven. In my opinion? Half the beauty of life is screwin’ some of it up. Hell, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but no matter what the consequences or how wrong they were, I loved makin’ ‘em, and given the chance? I’d make ‘em all over again.

We’re human...we’re not *supposed* to get life completely right. That’s one of the best parts of it.

And anyone that tells you any different is selling something.

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 322
im_a_catch: (Denny Pain)
2006-08-06 09:55 pm
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im_a_catch: (Denny Begin the Begin)
2006-07-27 10:31 am
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[ profile] fandom_muses: Topic 31 - Obituary

Dennis Jeremiah Duquette
1969 - 2006

Dennis Jeremiah Duquette was born in New Orleans, Louisiana to parents Jeremiah Brian Duquette and Elaine Maria Vachon-Duquette in 1969. His death occurred at Seattle Grace Hospital, due to complications resulting from viral cardiomyopathy that occurred as he awaited a heart transplant under the care of Dr. Preston Burke.

Dennis, who went by Denny through most of his life, held a lifelong fascination with the sea, which carried him into a comfortably successful and thoroughly enriching career as a marine biologist, focusing his work primarily on the study of dolphins in Florida as well as the study of marine ecosystems in California. He was also an avid music enthusiast, enjoyed cooking, and was a steadfast friend to those around him.

Denny is survived by his parents and Dr. Isobel Stevens. At the request of his will, he will be cremated and his ashes scattered at sea. No memorial services will be held.

Denny couldn’t help but smile as he read over the obituary, scrawled in pen on a careworn legal pad that lay amongst the plethora of bits and bobs he’d accumulated during his hospital stay. He’d written it just after asking the nurses for that damn DNR order prior to the transplant.

Funny how times had changed.

Unable to resist, Denny reached over to pluck up a pen and crossed out the top and bottom of the text, then started writing anew with a grin on his face.

Dennis Jeremiah Duquette, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana to loving parents. His death doesn’t matter, because his life was a lot more worthy of discussion.

Denny is survived by his wife, Dr. Isobel Stevens, and his parents. At the behest of his will, memorial services will be held at the nearest bar and will be open to the public.

A moment later, he reached up and crossed out the dates, replacing it with his birthday and nothing else.

There was no stopping death...only enjoying life while one still could. Even after he was gone, Denny wasn’t going to let anyone mourn. Life was just too damn short.

As he continued to pack his things in preparation for being discharged, he began to go over the details in his head...second thing he was going to do when he got home was amend his will. His obituary promised services at a local bar, and so help him, there would be just that: detailed instructions in his will for the biggest goddamn party anyone ever threw.

First, however...he was going to get Izzie to his place and see how she felt about welcoming him home properly.

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 443
im_a_catch: (Denny Devil May Care)
2006-07-17 12:31 pm
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[ profile] fandom_muses: Topic 29 - Kindness of Strangers

He hadn’t known Preston Burke from Adam when he was first admitted to Seattle Grace because of heart trouble. The funny little episodes he was having of lightheadedness and arrhythmia were nothing...just a few too many late nights, overworking himself to the point of exhaustion. Still, his co-worker, Jesse, conned him into checking it out.

When Burke walked into the room after his exam instead of the ER doctor on call, Denny didn’t think much of it...just found himself in a rather good-natured argument about the latest baseball scores as he was examined a second time.

The next visit, Preston asked about his latest work with aquatic ecosystems and got him going for nearly an hour. He forgot he was nervous, and he stopped thinking about the fact he was seeing a cardio thoracic surgeon for a little dizziness and funny flutter in his chest.

By the fourth visit, as they started running all the tests, he started striking up the conversations and jokes instead of Burke. His gratitude knew no bounds when the other man obliged him willingly, talking and chattering to keep the fear...the truth at bay.

Above all else, however, when the truth finally did come, Preston gave it to Denny without any window dressing...straight, solid, and real.

It was different by that point, though...because Denny had stopped relying on the kindness of a stranger to make him forget what he was doing there.

By that point, he was relying less on a stranger and more on a friend to deal out bad news with respect.

And the fact that he didn’t disappoint Denny in the least only solidified that that he was sure would end up saving his life.

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 289
im_a_catch: (Denny Devil May Care)
2006-06-29 11:16 am
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im_a_catch: (Denny Duquette)
2006-06-14 12:41 pm
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[ profile] fandom_muses: Topic 25 - Pet Peeves

I’m a scientist. I ain’t no nuclear physicist, but marine biology *is* a science, y’know. So when folks find out that my biggest pet peeve is close-minded people? They’re usually surprised. I guess they got it in their heads that all scientists are rigid, unyielding skeptics with no faith in anything that isn’t in a test tube.

And when they make those assumptions? They proceed to bug the crap outta me.

There’s only one sure thing in science, and that’s nothin’s for sure. Things get disproved left and right every day ‘cause we’re always learning something new about *everything.* It’s all about exploring new frontiers, new worlds we never thought existed before.

I didn’t get into my field ‘cause I thought the world was limited. I became a scientist to go beyond what I knew to be. It’s all about open doors...I like open doors. They can lead to some pretty interesting places. So when someone tries to close a door in my face by damn near glorying in their stone-age, middle of the road, bullshit narrow-minded thinking? You better believe it’s going to get under my skin, and I mean the wrong way under.

So you tell me aliens exist? I’ll think it over. Gays got the right to marry? I’ll weigh the issues. Hell, I’ll even ponder the existence of Santa Claus if you got a valid argument to share. I do not, under any circumstances, see why any person on this planet should walk through this world with a set of blinders on.

There’s just too damn much to see, and believe me...after being sick? I’ve learned to appreciate the variety out there a whole lot more.

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 281
im_a_catch: (Denny Begin the Begin)
2006-06-12 10:33 am
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[ profile] fandom_muses: Topic 24 - No Consequences

If I could do just one thing right now, and not pay any sorta price for it? Right this very second?

I’d run a marathon.

Yeah, you heard me it cornball and kinda weak if you want, right now that’s my deepest, darkest secret fantasy. The one that’d make my doctors shriek in horror and my nurses panic as they tried to chase me down with pills and shots and IV’s and all that nonsense.

A couple weeks ago, I was lying in bed with a battery pumping my heart for me. I had cold hands, pasty skin, and not enough breath to run this great big carcass of mine without an oxygen tube nearby. Now? I have this brand spanking new heart and about half as many tubes hooked up to me as I used to...maybe ten instead of twenty. I can actually take a leak all by myself now. And I get to go outside seein’ as how I ain’t hooked up to drains on my wounds no more...I’m doin’ so good I get ‘bout an hour or so each day to sit out on the patio. You got any idea how good it feels just to sit and feel the breeze on your skin, to breathe air that isn’t choked with chemicals?

You know what I did yesterday? I stopped to smell the heard me. There’s a little rose bush just outside the patio entrance, weak little thing...but it had blooms, and you can bet your ass I stopped to smell ‘em.

Now there’s a lot more interesting stuff I could be wishing for...wild and dangerous things I could go after if there were no repercussions to worry about...hell, I’m getting married soon as I’m well.

But that’s the large and small of it, really...I’m getting married to the most beautiful, intelligent, sweet-natured woman in the whole damn world, I got a working heart of my very own...and pretty soon, I’m gonna be hale and healthy again. I got Izzie coming to see me in a couple hours, and right now I got the fresh air filling my lungs...what else could I possibly want in the whole world?

For the waiting to be be me, completely, whole and free again.

So if I had my way? Right this very second...I’d run me a marathon.

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 401
im_a_catch: (Denny Devil May Care)
2006-06-01 03:09 pm
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[ profile] fandom_muses: Topic 23 - Pain

No sir...dont know a thing about it. )

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 515
im_a_catch: (Denny Begin the Begin)
2006-05-22 01:18 pm
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im_a_catch: (Denny Duquette)
2006-05-16 02:37 pm
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[ profile] fandom_muses: Introduction

So, this is what cyberspace looks like, huh? Funny, I thought it’d be bigger.

Cut for possible spoilers )
im_a_catch: (Denny Duquette)
2006-05-09 11:46 am

[ profile] fandom_muses: Application

1) What is one thing you have learned from your past?

He was watching her again.

It was just plain ridiculous how delicious it felt to just *watch* Izzie walk past his room, but goddamn if it wasn’t as wicked and wonderful as sneaking out to see KISS play in concert when he was sixteen. Back then, he’d been smoking in the boy’s room, feeling up girls on Lover’s Lane...and letting it all slip by completely unnoticed.

Now he was leering at pretty blonde interns and couldn’t believe his good luck.

So much of his past was spent taking simple, insignificant, glorious pleasures for granted, and now he was chained to his hospital bed by tubes and wires, marveling at the fact apple juice could taste so good sipped out of a wine glass with Izzie smiling at him, or that Scrabble was probably the greatest game ever invented when he was waiting for her to use a quasi-dirty word, or what a rebellious charge it was to watch her petite little frame whiz back and forth outside the halls in a blur of delicate, surgical blue and labcoat white limbs, and know that she’d be in later to see him.

She’d be there to keep him company and take care of her patient, and reward him with those moments that lived in her eyes between flirtatious jokes ...those stolen seconds when he was healthy and strong again, when she saw the man and not the ruined heart.

In those moments, he could almost feel his pulse beating in his veins with the steady, sure, life-giving rhythm he’d never appreciated before he got sick.

He’d learned what a large part of life the small things really were...and right now, the smallest thing wasn’t only the largest part of his life...

...she was swiftly becoming one of the most important.

2) Describe a dream that you've had. How did the dream make you feel?

Me? I dream about everything your average red-blooded transplant candidate dreams about...big money, new hearts, and various other indulgences which are more than a little on the X-rated side, so bein’ that I’m a gentleman I won’t go there.

All right, you want the truth? Bein’ stuck in this goddamn hospital, there’s only one dream I ever have anymore. Keeps me awake a lotta nights...I know, bad thing to do, lose rest when your own heart can’t even support your body, but I can’t help it. It’s like the Grim Reaper’s tapping on my shoulder with that damn scythe, and I just can’t ignore him anymore.

I dream about an operating room...sorta outside my own body, watching myself on the table with Dr. Burke opening my chest up to fix something that’s wrong...I don’t know what he’s fixing, but I know there’s blood *everywhere.* Weird thing is, it’s not gushing out or anything, it’s...seeping. Like the life dribbling away from me each passing day, my blood is trickling out of every opening the surgeons have hacked into my body.

I finally realize it’s on the floor and spreading outward at the same time I realize the surgeons working on me ain’t actually doing anything. A cut here, an organ shoved to the side there...all they’re doing is cutting away at me while my life slowly slides out of me.

I always wake up with Dr. Burke’s voice in my ears, pronouncing the time of death...and wondering just how much longer it’s gonna be before that voice in my head becomes a reality.