im_a_catch: ([Post Transplant] Pensive)
Probably the worst damn bout of cabin fever I ever had came about when I was waitin’ for my bandages to come off...after my heart transplant. Sounds kinda funny, right? I spend more ‘n a year or two bound to my bed, and it’s when I’m healthy that it finally starts getting to me. Don’t get me wrong, I had my dark moments towards...well, what I *thought* was the end. Signing those DNR orders and all.

Thing is, though...I was sick for damn near five years. In and out of hospitals, up and down from my sickbed...you get a little stir crazy after some time, but after a while it gets to be like something out of THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION. The walls of a sickroom got a lot in common with the walls of a prison. First you hate ‘em, then you get used to ‘em...then you get to depend on ‘em.

I fought it, though...long as I could, but eventually I was turning into that poor sick bastard that I loathed and despised. If not for Izzie...I think I’d have reached my breaking point a lot sooner. Might not have even made it to the transplant. Sometimes I hated how she helped me...how great she was at getting me through every day, but more than that making me *want* to get through every day, even if it was hooked to a machine. I didn’t want to be that guy, I didn’t want to sit idly by and watch a machine pump my heart and be okay with it. But I knew I had to do it.

So cabin fever? Not so much...I couldn’t feel trapped and smothered, or even enclosed because there was no hope. No outside, nothing but my room, the machines, and the people that moved in and out of it. After, though...after the transplant, with my stitches ready to come out and the bandages no longer a problem...

Then there was hope again.

And *that’s* when the walls started closing in.

And I’ll tell ya this...I’ve never been happier to deal with a bout of the claustrophobic grouches than I was in the few days before the doc came in and snipped me free. Because nothing cures cabin fever better than not just getting out and getting free...but knowing that you *can*.

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 396
im_a_catch: ([Post Transplant] Smirk)
I saw the worst of what cheating can do...and I don`t just mean cheating at the games... )

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 468
im_a_catch: (Denny Duquette)
Yes, I sure as hell am impulsive, and most folks like me that way. Granted, it gets me into trouble on occasion, but that ain’t always a bad thing. You get impulsive, you sometimes make some pretty hefty mistakes, and Lord knows I’m more than a little guilty of that. Still, some mistakes are a lot of fun to make...and most of the mistakes I’ve made in my life? I’d make ‘em again if I had the chance, with the exception of those few times when barreling into something balls out got someone hurt. Not always me, though...some of those times I hurt myself? I’d go through again.

Like recently...had another incident with the stairs. Not my heart, mind you...but everything else? Yeah, the old bones weren’t real happy with me for taxing ‘em so early. I got winded after a couple flights, shaky after three...shaky enough that I took a spill. Oh, I’m fine, but that was three days ago and I got a few real good bruises out of the deal.

Plus I got a real chewing out from my physical therapist...Julie. She wasn’t happy with me at all. Yeah, I got a real tongue lashing from her when she came down to get me for my next session...seemed kinda surprised, me trying to tackle that so early on, but I got the usual tirade about taking on more than I could handle and screwin’ myself royally.

But under the bluster...I think she was kinda impressed. Maybe proud of her newest charge.

Besides...she’s real damn cute when she’s huffy.

Yep...sometimes it really does pay not to think things all the way through...

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 284
im_a_catch: (Denny Begin the Begin)
In the last few weeks? I`ve faced death a time or two... )

Muse: Denny Duquette
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Words: 474

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Denny Duquette

November 2008

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